I just came off a high from one of the best weeks of my life. You know that feeling you have where you feel relaxed, completely in the moment and you can't stop smiling from ear to ear? My Mom, dad, sister and grandparents were all here in quaint little Manhattan, KS to celebrate a milestone that hasn't quite sunk in at the moment- I have a Master's degree! I haven't even begun to understand what lies ahead for me because I am stuck in the moment, relishing and savoring the present. The relaxation time-no research papers, no thesis, no classes-but instead time for my mind to take a short reprieve and catch up on the simple things in life that have been so hard to fit into my compact schedule. I feel as if the world has been spinning around me for so long, so hard to keep up sometimes, between school and Chris being away, I am finally able to take a deep breath and figure out the answer to the million dollar question-what's next?
I know that I won't be able to allow the rest and relaxation to take over me for long, I am to used to going, doing and moving. I have contemplated taking a language, most likely arabic, to stay connected to the university and to hone a skill that I have not had the time nor patience to give any undivided attention to. I had debated beginning my phD, but with only a year and a half left in Manhattan, I wouldn't have the time to complete it and once Chris hits his departure month in September 2010, we are on to our next adventure-where will we even be next?
I love the unknown. I love change. I'll never forget a quote that I saw on a rock climbing poster on an evening of climbing with Chris:
"The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers"
-Erich Fromm
I think that not knowing what's around the bend keeps your mind clear, it brings clarity to the decisions that you will eventually make because your mind is more open to all the possible directions you could take. I have never nor will never map out my life. I will certainly have goals, and things that I hope someday to accomplish-but how, where, and when are all left up to interpretation. Everything that has occurred in my life, everything that has taken place, all of the joys and sorrows that are part of 'my journey' have been unplanned. I have followed my heart at times instead of my mind. I have made compromises, but never sacrifices. I have lived a life thus far that I could have never imagined simply because I could have never foreseen the happiness that I have found myself in at this very moment in time-I could have never dreamed it. I have been given so much advice over the years, but below is some of the best:
"Wherever you go, there you are"
"Make up your mind you are going to be happy wherever life takes you"-Mom
"Your life is a journey-just live it"-Mom and Dad
"It is what it is"-Mom
"Some people pursue happiness, others create it"-
"Physical and spiritual happiness is just as important as your pursuit of knowledge"-Dad
There are countless more pieces of advice I have been given and I am making it a goal of mine to regurgitate most all of it. So I can relive those very moments that made me think. So I can pass onto Chris and I's children this advice that has served such an incredible purpose in my life.
Especially on those days that I find mind wondering, filling with all of the things that I have yet to do, all the worries that I continuously find myself dwelling on, I remember that that day just like any other day is part of my journey-some days will serve greater purpose than others, but overall-every day has it's place on our paths.
