1.) Productivity of your days has a whole new meaning- There are days when the phrase 'so what did you do today get's tossed around' and it makes my head spin. Simply because I myself don't even know the answer until I come face-to-face with it. Eat, clean-up, bathtime, clean, play, eat, cleanup, bath again, change a diaper, rock and sing away tears, pick up 1 million toys, and the list continues on many days in a similar fashion. Often times it's repition after repition which for someone who was used to less structure in her days is very.very.hard.
2.) Me time has NEVER been more valuable- Each mama is programmed differently I've discovered. Some can go days without needing true 'me' time, but I am not one. I didn't realize until I became a mama how I am programmed to NEED that time sitting in solace. Whether I'm reading a book, taking a yoga class, eating a meal in peace or just sitting and breathing in silence I need to be able to just be by myself for at least an hour a day. Some days it happens, others it doesn't, but it's a good week if on the majority of the days I can have that time to think for myself for that time.
3.) Energy IS finitie- We only have so much to give. I have never, unless I was sick, truly had low energy. I always could find the motivation or extra 'umph' to get things done when they needed to be. To make it out for cocktails even after a long day at work or school, to get the gym even when I seemingly felt exhausted, to clean the house even when it was the absolute last thing I wanted to do at the end of a long day. Even when I was pregnant I could somehow muster up the strength get everything done that I needed to and then some. And this was even before the nesting instinct kicked in in the third trimester. 11 months post-partum and it is phenomenal how different the nurturing energy is day-to-day in comparison to the other types of energy I was used to expending. It's a different type of energy. One in which you literally have a being requiring all of you mind, body and soul and it is utterly exhausting as simultaneously wonderful as it is.
4.) Sleep is like a tonic you can't get enough of- I never used to be the one that needed a lot of sleep; so I thought. High energy levels always afforded me the ability to push through late nights of studying, finishing up work projects, designing weddings, ect. ect. Chris and I wouldn't raise an eyebrow at waking up at 2am to drive to the starting line of a 50 mile adventure race. We wouldn't think twice about pushing through road trips half-way across the country with no sleep. The truth of our lives 11 months post-Autumn is that sleep is THE most precious commodity on the planet. We literally can't get enough of it. It's remarkable how a little being can require so much of you between the hours of 10pm and 5am and all throughout the day. Phenomenal how much those nighttime wake ups wear on you over the weeks, months, and dare I say years. It's nothing new, revolutionary. It's a right of passage into parenthood yet a topic so few talk about. But it is a continuation of sleep deprivation in essence that we thought we had overcome. Although the black circles under the eyes will probably continue, along with the frazzled thoughts during the day and the pining for a deep sleep at night, I keep telling myself how temporary and fleeting of a time this is in our lives. At least I secretly hope.
5.) I am no June Cleaver- Nor have I ever really sought to be, but I just thought somehow I would magically have more time in my days staying home with a little one. I was humbled with how wrong I was. On the contrary, it has been quite the opposite. Maybe because I'm still a newbie on the block at the parent gig, I still haven't figured out the magic formula to 'getting it all done'. I have accepted a whole new meaning to living in a home that is 'company' ready. There are more imperfections than ever, more laundry undone, more dust bunnies and dog hair swirling, yet there is an age-old saying that says little ones won't remember any of it. I am going to hold tight to the fact that Autumn won't remember how much dog hair she consumed. At least I pray.
6.) You can't even use the restroom alone- I have found the challenge to actually be public restrooms. The occasions when I don't bring her carrier and it is just her and I running errands in the shopping cart, no stroller. What do you do? Again, another momism I have truly yet to figure out but a conundrum none the less. Somehow I've managed I guess. And now that we've begun a very loose structure of potty training, Autumn uses her big kid potty several times a day as of now, there is no peace and quiet in our restroom any longer. Again, one of those small things that you take for granted throughout the day until you have a little one following your every footstep.
7.) Cleaning takes double the time- I have come into the living room where an entire basket of clothes that I had just folded is on the floor. Walked into the kitchen to find almost the entire bottom level of dishes and silverwear taken out of the dishwasher. Not to mention I have a very eager helper
when I vaccum who likes to 'walk' behind the vaccum as I go room to room. Good practice for walking for her, yet it takes me three times as long to whip through 1900 sq. ft. Not fun! Overall what have I gathered from this experience? Patience, patience and more patience. And satisfaction in knowing at least she's taking an interest in 'helping', this could be good fortune for the future!
8.) You can go through the entire spectrum of emotions all in one day- I truly want to believe that it doesn't matter what type of person you are before you have a kid, you will have anger, frustration, sadness, estatic moments of joy, pure happiness, confusion, ect. ect. and the list continues. I remember questioning why I was feeling certain emotions because I had never felt them in such a capacity before. It wasn't of my character, it was truly unfamiliar. So to discover that all of these feelings are completely normal was a breath of fresh air in a sea of emotional madness. While motherhood is full of the sweet moments of little snuggles and angel kisses they are also full of sleepless nights, napless days, fussiness for no reason, and boughts of separation anxiety that leave you no free time during the day for yourself. It truly can be the most wonderful yet maddening job in the entire world. Bar none.
9.) Mommy brain is real- Call it exhaustion, call it constantly needing to be mindful of yourself + (however many little ones you have) which includes cooking, cleaning, and packing for each of them every day. It's a constant feeling of forgetting, a feeling of not having control, not having it together, feeling like a mess for whatever reason it may be. It's not every day but at least several days a week and I know that again, it's a temporary bi-product of having a little bundle that rocks your world in a multitude of ways.
10.) You can never LOVE too much- Despite the chaos of parenting, there truly is something every single day that Autumn does that makes me ooh and aww and love her that much more. It could be as simple as adding a new face to her already 2,437 faces that she performs, learning how to play more independently which affords me more time but also allows me to watch her little brain work, or picking up a new developmental milestone that leaves us all smiles as she grows from a baby to an eventual toddler..we can't believe that it's right around the corner. And the love that you show, no matter how I feel or what was accomplished by the end of the day is truly, honestly, purely what matters in the mind of an 11 month old. We're going to relish in that simplicity while it lasts!
On another note, I can't fathom that Christmas is 12 days away! Autumn is ready, but 'Santa' is not!
